#1 humor site on the 'net

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Stirring the feline pot

Pass The CatSoup, Please thanks to Adrienne Steinbeck

QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it. - William Collier

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick

1957 Woolworth Menu

Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC

The New Norm

Police Car Of The Year

If You're Looking For A Sign

Upside Down Amusement

Bread Zeppelin

Special Second Meal

Perfect Grill

Heat Expands