#1 humor site on the 'net

The New U.S. Dollar Coin

Two dollars for the price of one

The New U.S. Dollar Coin thanks to Karen Moore

Revamped NAFTA deal renamed to USMCA ... bad moo-ve for Canada

QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

Insurance is for people who don't have money. - Neil Zukerman

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

Old houses mended, cost little less than new before they're ended. - Colley Cibber

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau

Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever. - David B. Norris

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!

Puma Pants

Polar Bear Attack

Foot Sign Language

Winter Tires

Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle