Why Women Don't Let Men Bathe Kids
A man's 'Clean House' policy
QuotaBillsBacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain
Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath
A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark
My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan
Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra
I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield
An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith
Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown
Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire
Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson
Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Inaction will cause a man to sink into the slough of despond and vanish without a trace. - Farley Mowat
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel
Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz
I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield
No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker
Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard
I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre
I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar
No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro
Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. - Zig Ziglar
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali
Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien