Why Women Don't Let Men Bathe Kids

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inaction will cause a man to sink into the slough of despond and vanish without a trace. - Farley Mowat

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. - Zig Ziglar

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien