Why Women Don't Let Men Bathe Kids

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. - Zig Ziglar

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash