#1 humor site on the 'net

Best Beak Forward

Looking for a beak-on at the zoo

Best Beak Forward thanks to Charles Gounod

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. - Louise J. Kaplan

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. - George Burns

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

What you teach your own children is what you really believe in. - Cathy Warner Weatherford

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J Plomp

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?' - Christopher Meloni

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


We Get It, You're From Texas

Bed Ridden and Proud Of It

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Redneck Cooler

Saskatchewan Mansion

Make America Grate Again

Flower Basket

Donkey Cart

Music Note Chairlift

Thanks For Noticing

Winter Cyclist

No-Lake Picture

Morning Coffee Break

Sign Crime

Royal Family Scrutiny

Bringing It Home

Secret Revealed

Women Pro Golfers

Alternative To Spanking

Laser Cats

At My Age I Need Glasses

Yoga Wine

Slip Sliding Away

Wi-Fi Free Restaurant