Cat Got Your Tail?

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

You think so logically... like a hawk soaring - I feel so chaotically... like a kite without a tail plummeting to earth. - John Geddes

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver