Cat Got Your Tail?

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

You think so logically... like a hawk soaring - I feel so chaotically... like a kite without a tail plummeting to earth. - John Geddes

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli