#1 humor site on the 'net

Drunk Pumpkin

The morning after pumpkin

Drunk Pumpkin thanks to Stan Kay

QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Ghost: A shadow of its former self - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

But I'm not so think as you drunk I am. - J.C. Squire

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. - William Butler Yeats

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk. - Alben W Barkley

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding