If Men Did Housework

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Heaven grant us patience with a man in love. - Rudyard Kipling

The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. - Napoleon Bonaparte

When faith is lost, when honor dies, the man is dead! - John G Whittier

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose. - Nelson Mandela

To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace

The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. - Theodore Roosevelt

It's impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. - Charles Darwin

I did a movie called 'Marathon Man' and it was one of my best memories. - Dustin Hoffman

The question is this: Is man an ape or an angel? I am on the side of the angels. - Benjamin Disraeli

It's not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man who says the oath. - Aeschylus

The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain. - Kahlil Gibran

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. - Mae West

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. - Dwight D Eisenhower

There is scarcely an instance of a man who has made a fortune by speculation and kept it. - Andrew Carnegie

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else. - Mae West

For many men, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them. - Seneca

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

The gentle mind by gentle deeds is known. For a man by nothing is so well betrayed, as by his manners. - Edmund Spenser

How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you're a dead man? You go to work. - Patrick Swayze

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. - Elbert Hubbard

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times. - Voltaire

A wise man knows when to stay silent. However, a wiser man of faith knows that sometimes words can win the battle when all odds stand against you. - Shannon L. Alder

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison