#1 humor site on the 'net

If Men Did Housework

New Hoover vacuum cleaner makes men's housework a breeze!

If Men Did Housework thanks to Cherei McCarter

QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Heaven grant us patience with a man in love. - Rudyard Kipling

The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. - Napoleon Bonaparte

When faith is lost, when honor dies, the man is dead! - John G Whittier

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose. - Nelson Mandela

To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace

The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. - Theodore Roosevelt

It's impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. - Charles Darwin

I did a movie called 'Marathon Man' and it was one of my best memories. - Dustin Hoffman

The question is this: Is man an ape or an angel? I am on the side of the angels. - Benjamin Disraeli

It's not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man who says the oath. - Aeschylus

The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain. - Kahlil Gibran

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. - Mae West

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. - Dwight D Eisenhower

There is scarcely an instance of a man who has made a fortune by speculation and kept it. - Andrew Carnegie

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else. - Mae West

For many men, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them. - Seneca

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

The gentle mind by gentle deeds is known. For a man by nothing is so well betrayed, as by his manners. - Edmund Spenser

How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you're a dead man? You go to work. - Patrick Swayze

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. - Elbert Hubbard

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times. - Voltaire

A wise man knows when to stay silent. However, a wiser man of faith knows that sometimes words can win the battle when all odds stand against you. - Shannon L. Alder

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison


Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat