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Only In Texas

They do things differently in Texas

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

QuotaBills
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie


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