Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash