#1 humor site on the 'net

Extreme Soccer

Playing soccer on vertical pitch makes for great scenery

Extreme Soccer thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Mountains aren't just funny. They are hill areas. - Unknown

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

Marathon Runner: A person who is happy to be over the hill - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend. - Mark Twain

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Trouble, like the hill ahead, straightens out when you advance upon it. - Marcelene Cox

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself. - H. Norman Schwarzkopf

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. - Nelson Mandela

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

A great many people seem to end up over the hill without ever having actually climbed it. - Unknown

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


Made His Bed

Mandeville Mascot

Morning After Dog

Thanks Granny

Redneck Hands-Free Driving

No Passing Lanes

One-Knight Stands

Live Long Street

Texas Car Wash

1934 Modern Home

Breakfast Cupcakes

Microsoft Messenger - Prototype

Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes