French Kissing - Wise Advice

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet. - Thich Nhat Hanh

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

To understand Europe, you have to be a genius - or French. - Madeleine Albright

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Boy, those French. They have a different world for everything! - Steve Martin

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Let me be an ocean and let me kiss you as many times as the ocean kisses the shore. - Debasish Mridha

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. - Marilyn Monroe

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

If I were God and I were trying to create a nation that would get up the nostrils of the Englishman, I would create the French. - Julian Barnes

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain