#1 humor site on the 'net

French Kissing - Wise Advice

Stay away from relationships with dogs

French Kissing - Wise Advice thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Kissing don't last; cookery do! - George Meredith

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

He is a fool that kisseth the maid when he may kiss the mistress. - English Proverb

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray


Swimsuit Police

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Dutch Cowboy

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Ship Tow

Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

Lockdown Advice