New Parking Spot For Women

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright