Pick Up After Your Dogs!

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com