#1 humor site on the 'net

Pick Up After Your Dogs!

North Vancouver notice for dog guardians and dogs

Pick Up After Your Dogs! thanks to Sandra Hendy

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Better With A Beard

Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick