#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Faucet

Bubba's got a handle on kitchen water conservation

Redneck Faucet thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. - Robert Millikan

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick

1957 Woolworth Menu

Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC

The New Norm

Police Car Of The Year

If You're Looking For A Sign

Upside Down Amusement

Bread Zeppelin

Special Second Meal

Perfect Grill

Heat Expands

Drink, Don't Drive!

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade