Redneck Faucet
Bubba's got a handle on kitchen water conservation
QuotaBillsKeep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown
A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields
Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown
Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker
No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss
Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle