Redneck Palm Pilot

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster