Redneck Palm Pilot

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco