Redneck Palm Pilot

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright