Slammed Grinch

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

Flying Buttress: A charging billy goat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is not love without a violin playing goat. - Julia Roberts

Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. - Hungary Proverb

In sports, every day you can be the hero or the goat. - Geoff Stults

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat. - Remedios Varo

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

It is hard to rock the boat when you are helping to row the boat. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Demagogue: A politician who can rock the boat and persuade everyone else that they're in a terrible storm - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com