Slammed Grinch

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat. - Remedios Varo

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were here to meet the boat. - Will Rogers

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump