Slammed Grinch

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

In sports, every day you can be the hero or the goat. - Geoff Stults

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat. - Remedios Varo

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster