Slammed Grinch

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

In sports, every day you can be the hero or the goat. - Geoff Stults

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

New York is my Lourdes where I go for spiritual refreshment...a place where you are least likely to be bitten by a wild goat. - Brendan Behan

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster