When A Canadian Guy Plans The Wedding

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf