When A Canadian Guy Plans The Wedding

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland