Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Know the great men of your age. - Baltasar Gracian

Men of few words are the best men. - William Shakespeare

A mass of men equals a mass of opinions. - Latin Proverb

The worst men often give the best advice. - Francis Bacon

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Men do less than they ought, unless they do all they can. - Thomas Carlyle

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle. - Rita Mae Brown

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

I don't teach my children what is Hindu and what is Muslim. - Shah Rukh Khan

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Men are governed only by serving them; the rule is without exception. - V. Cousin

Can grave and formal pass for wise,
When Men the solemn Owl despise? - Benjamin Franklin

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges. - Thomas W. Higginson

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Only the unknown frightens men. But once a man has faced the unknown, that terror becomes the known. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Children raced outside. She surveyed their trail - traces of sticky fingerprints across everything, like wee poems. - Dr. SunWolf

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

The secret of many a man's success in the world resides in his insight into the moods of men and his tact in dealing with them. - J.G. Holland

In the long run men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high. - Henry David Thoreau

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee