Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

He who does not travel does not know the value of men. - Moorish Proverb

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day. - Jay Leno

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. - Neil Kinnock

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear. - Herbert Agar

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." - Francois Morency

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor great scholars great men. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

I learned at an early age that if you are nice to men, you can get anything you want from them. - Natalie Wood

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

In other men, taste for slaughter sometimes loses its force. In Constantius it became more violent. - Ammianus Marcellinus

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own. - Michel de Montaigne

One machine can do the work of a hundred ordinary men, but no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours. - Milton Berle

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning, but without understanding. - Louis D Brandeis

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

The secret of many a man's success in the world resides in his insight into the moods of men and his tact in dealing with them. - J.G. Holland

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama