Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Yes, all men must die. But we are not men. - Daenerys Targaryen

Fools look to tomorrow; wise men use tonight. - Scottish Proverb

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. - Aristotle

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

It is of men, and of them only, that one should always be frightened. - Louis-Ferdinand Céline

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see. - Leonard Nimoy

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

The tragedy of life is not what men suffer, but rather what they miss. - Thomas Carlyle

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Can grave and formal pass for wise,
When Men the solemn Owl despise? - Benjamin Franklin

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

Children's games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play. - Michel de Montaigne

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

Only the unknown frightens men. But once a man has faced the unknown, that terror becomes the known. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth - even if it costs him his job. - Samuel Goldwyn

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison