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Wind and Fire Accident

Operating room accident breaks wind

Wind and Fire Accident thanks to Jenna Hoodicoff

Patient that didn't fast long enough before surgery

What U.S. lawyers live for

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


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