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Wind and Fire Accident

Operating room accident breaks wind

Wind and Fire Accident thanks to Jenna Hoodicoff

Patient that didn't fast long enough before surgery

What U.S. lawyers live for

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I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


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