World's First Handheld Computer

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

I don't like creating software anymore. It's too exact. It's like karate; there's no room for error. - John Maeda

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright