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Burnt Offering

Breaker, Breaker - Where Are You?

Burnt Offering thanks to Rick Lansink

Tracking down an elusive electrical fault

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

It's better to burn out than to fade away. - Neil Young

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. - David Russell

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. - H L Mencken

Great souls by instinct by each other turn
Demand alliance, and in friendship burn. - Joseph Addison

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line. - Elvis Presley

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The Sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Once in seven years I burn all my sermons; for it is a shame if I cannot write better sermons now than I did seven years ago. - John Wesley

I have never seen anyone burn a flag. And if I did, it would take every ounce of restraint I had not to haul off and hit them. - Barack Obama

The diamond which shines in the Saviour's crown shall burn in unquenched beauty at last on the forehead of every human soul. - Theodore Parker

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


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