#1 humor site on the 'net

Caviar Burger

McDonald's new luxury delicacy for discriminating patrons

Caviar Burger thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world. - Peter York

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Give me Caviar Kaspia and give me a hamburger. I love the two extremes. - Michael Kors

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

I have done a Hamburger Helper commercial, a Hardees commercial, a McDonalds commercial. American Express commercial. - Luke Benward

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours

Tight Fit

Life Is Beautiful

Buddha Pear

Yes!

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Mannequin Pointer