#1 humor site on the 'net

Caviar Burger

McDonald's new luxury delicacy for discriminating patrons

Caviar Burger thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world. - Peter York

I wouldn't eat a hamburger for 40,000 dollars. - River Phoenix

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

We take the hamburger business more seriously than anyone else. - Ray Kroc

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade. - Noel Coward

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag

Ice Cream Clouds

Sun Dial Fail

Rolling Stop

Ghetto Hammock

Cooking For Guys

Walkies

Ultimate Border Control Protection

Note Flasher

Lineup For Dinner

Do Nothing Day

Horn Blower

Breathe in the Ocean

Skywalking

Low Ceiling Workout

Maxi Boot Sorbet

OCD Highschool

Kona Lisa

Fire Distinguisher

An Apple A Day

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Redneck Book Holder