Chair Skiing - Redneck Water Sport

Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious. - Ruth Reichl

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster