Crap Flavoured Instant Noodles

Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Sarcasm - because beating the crap out of people is illegal. - Unknown

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. - Dick Cavett

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie