Diverse Women Drivers

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera