Diverse Women Drivers

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera