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Five Stages of a Female's Life

Are you growing up or slimming down?

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

1. To Grow Up

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

2. To Fill Out

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

3. To Slim Down

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

4. To Hold It In

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

5. To Heck with it...

QuotaBills
Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. - Will Rogers

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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