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Five Stages of a Female's Life

Are you growing up or slimming down?

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

1. To Grow Up

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

2. To Fill Out

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

3. To Slim Down

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

4. To Hold It In

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

5. To Heck with it...

QuotaBills
Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Wrong no man and write no woman. - Elbert Hubbard

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

Female Friends: Women mad at the same person - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trim Figures: What women do when they tell their age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Widowhood: The proof that women live longer than men - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. - Kathy Lette

Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

Chance Remark: Anything a man chances to say when two women are talking - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

Sewing Circle: 1. Where friendship hangs by a thread; 2. A group of women who needle each other. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Conscientious Woman: One who never breaks a confidence without first imposing the strictest secrecy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

A woman described me as a bit of a looker the other day. Well, 'voyeur' was the actual word she used. - Gary Delaney

If this world is going to be reached, I am convinced that it must be done by men and women of average talent. - Dwight L. Moody

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain


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