#1 humor site on the 'net

Guard Dog Security - How Fast Can You Run?

Wireless security systems - for quick response

Guard Dog Security - How Fast Can You Run? thanks to Ben Lavrinoff

Do German Shepherds make the best guard dogs?

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Subway Swing

Fish Eye Lens

Horse Mask

Chocolate Filling

Mea Culpa Road

Pool Painters

Cocoon Stage

Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today

How Pitbulls Really Fight

Grillbillies

Captain Literate

Fossilized Sid

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Husband Colors