#1 humor site on the 'net

Home Alone Pets

What happens when the owners are gone...

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home Alone Pets thanks to Gwen Laxton

QuotaBills
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Only animals were not expelled from Paradise. - Milan Kundera

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

The only meat I eat is from animals I've killed myself. - Mark Zuckerberg

Everywhere animals are in chains, but we image them as free. - Carol J Adams

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch. - Conor McGregor

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. - Erik Satie

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison


Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader

Edible Rubik's Cube

If Apple Made A Car

High-Wire Act Violin

Redneck Pole Support

New iPhone - Special Delivery

QR Code Quilt

How It's Done

Animal Puns

Feather Fashion

Breast Cancer Cure

Monday Flowers

Dog Muzzle

Cocklebiddy Welcome

Tartan Headphones

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Croatian Landscaping

Help For Dead Children

Sand Carpet