If Looks Could Kill

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz