#1 humor site on the 'net

Milking Time On The Farm

Waiting For Hand-Outs

Milking Time On The Farm thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Back Pain

No Extras Massage

Gooooooooooogle Air

Hot Tub Hangups

Scenery Cut and Paste

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better With A Beard

Canadian Winter Smile

Monkey Morning

Snow Geese

Walk The Line

Darth Vader Cool

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Cutting Edge Table

Wine Signs

Ring Seating

Snow Aerobics

25 Toes

Wedding Cake Dress

Bacon Soda Sales

Wet Insect

Chinese New Year Greetings

Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers