#1 humor site on the 'net

Milking Time On The Farm

Waiting For Hand-Outs

Milking Time On The Farm thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. - Oliver Herford

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Things are seldom what they seem. Skim milk masquerades as cream. - W S Gilbert

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy


Paint Ladder

Spanish Restrooms

First Computer Cursor

Arsenic Wafers

Car Surgeon

Rust-ic Truck

Aisle Cleanup

Camouflage Garage

World's First Laser Pointer

Patio Losers

Tetris Cake

Tower of Hammocks

Dead Batteries

Cheers!

Roger That

What Day Is It?

Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber

Tylenol Ban