#1 humor site on the 'net

Mouse Christmas Ornament

Why leave mice on the floor - fling em' on your tree!

Mouse Christmas Ornament thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
It's a trap! - Admiral Ackbar

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Don't grow up - it's a trap! - Unknown

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself. - Raymond Chandler

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there. - Mortimer B Zuckerman

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Do not trap yourself into an owl's hooting sound
Where sad nights linger through the blackness of a hound - Munia Khan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mouse trap you set the night before. - Kin Hubbard


Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti