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Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Looking After Your Wife: Special Treat for Her on Mother's Day

Last Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my deck, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. Doris from next door was so upset at this that she came over and shouted, “You lazy *&!#$%^&@! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your backside and give her a break!”
I thought “Goodness! Women!” and I took a swig from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips and stared directly at this nosey neighbour and told her in no uncertain terms, “Bugger off and mind your own business. My wife has green fingers, and she really enjoys gardening.”
After a few days I felt really bad, so I went out and bought her a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I am so proud of the deal I got. I am also proud that my wife can now sit down while mowing the lawn.
Newfie Riding Lawn Mower thanks to Roy Taylor

Buying only the best to help the wife cut the lawn

Yes guys, after all, we should take good care of our wives. That way maybe they will take good care of us.
I know - I'm too soft with her. She'll probably want gears on it next!

QuotaBills
Silence is the mother of truth. - Benjamin Disraeli

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Grammer: Your father's mother. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Diligence is the mother of good fortune. - Benjamin Disraeli

A mother's love endures through all. - Washington Irving

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate. - Unknown

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Sweater: A garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. - James E Faust

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. - Lady Gaga

Grandmother and grandchild never truly part, maybe in distance but never in heart. - Unknown

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. - Unknown

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

My Mother: She is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her. - Jodi Picoult

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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