Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Diligence is the mother of good fortune. - Benjamin Disraeli

A mother's love endures through all. - Washington Irving

Necessity is the mother of taking chances. - Mark Twain

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother. - Unknown

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. - James E Faust

Today is the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus. - Unknown

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

God pardons like a mother who kisses the offense into everlasting forgiveness. - Henry Ward Beecher

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

The older I grow, the more I realize that my mother is the best 'best friend' that I ever had. - Unknown

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson

My Mother: She is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her. - Jodi Picoult

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten