Only in Las Vegas

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller