Only in Las Vegas

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

We are in a problem, and the problem is we are in a terrible sector... Las Vegas is overbuilt and doing badly, and we get pulled down by that. - Donald Trump

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf