Only in Las Vegas

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense. - Christopher Walken

We are in a problem, and the problem is we are in a terrible sector... Las Vegas is overbuilt and doing badly, and we get pulled down by that. - Donald Trump

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller