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Redneck Funeral

Who says you can't take it with you?

Redneck Funeral thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
The healthy die first. - Italian Proverb

Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

How can I die? I'm booked. - George Burns

Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

Don't go to the grave with life unused. - Bobby Bowden

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. - Peter Ustinov

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. - Kin Hubbard

If you like to seek revenge, dig a grave for two. - Jewish Proverb

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

We know the road to freedom has always been stalked by death. - Angela Davis

When I die, I want to come back as Bobby Layne's chauffeur. - Don Meredith

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

The tragedy of Mormonism is, a single death makes a dozen widows. - American Saying

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian. - Robin Williams

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. - Fidel Castro

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. - Omar Brailey

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

Many people's tombstones should read: 'Died at 30. Buried at 60.' - Nicholas M Butler

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

Work as if you were to live a hundred years. Pray as if you were to die tomorrow. - Benjamin Franklin

I know we're going to die. But some of us are going to do something about it. - Tom Burnett

It's better to die in pursuit of your dreams than to live a life without hope. - Terry Brooks

The grave's a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace. - Andrew Marvell

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. - William Shakespeare

Any actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave. - Joan Crawford

Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country. - Bertrand Russell

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often. - Unknown

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

I'm not afraid of death. It's the stake one puts up in order to lay the game of life. - Jean Giraudoux

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. - Humphrey Bogart

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. - Charles Bukowski

I got well by talking. Death could not get a word in edgewise, grew discouraged, and traveled on. - Louise Erdrich

The art of storytelling is reaching its end because the epic slice of truth, wisdom, is dying out. - Walter Benjamin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be. - Lionel Barrymore

My Uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: 'What are you looking at?' - Margaret Smith

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen

Life is better than death, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it. - Alice Walker

When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you'd been the only man in the world. - C S Lewis

Live with fulfillment, serve with passion so in this lifetime you will have the abillity to die with no regrets. - Randy Gonzales

Melbourne is the kind of town that really makes you consider the question, "Is there life after death?" - Bette Midler

I tell ya, I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighbourhood!" - Rodney Dangerfield

I saw that show, '50 Things To Do Before You Die.' I would have thought the obvious one was, 'Shout for help'. - Jim Carrey

To maintain a powerful life force, forget yourself, forget about living and dying, and bring your full attention into this moment. - H E Davey

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown

We shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

Grandfather: Death is nothing to be afraid of.
Renee: It's not death I'm afraid of.
Grandfather: What is it, then?
Renee: Life - Yvonne Wood

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde


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