#1 humor site on the 'net

Waiting For Windows To Boot

Looking for a faster computer or a better relationship?

Waiting For Windows To Boot thanks to Gandhi Mukkavilli

QuotaBills
Start slow and taper off. - Walt Stack

Gentlemen, start your egos. - Billy Crystal

If you want an audience, start a fight. - Gaelic Proverb

Children make you want to start life over. - Muhammad Ali

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

If you really want to know yourself, start by writing a book. - Shereen El Feki

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

When you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming out. - Elizabeth Bowen

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. - Unknown

Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. - Richard Branson

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

There are two kinds of people - those who finish what they start and so on. - Robert Byrne

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

When you start recognising that you're having fun, life can be delightful. - Jane Birkin

Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight. - Harvey Milk

Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over. - Nicole Sobon

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will. - George Lucas

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. - Maria Robinson

Early on, if I was alone two or three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide. - Jack Nicholson

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. - Henry David Thoreau

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. - Carl Bard

Usually the thing that signifies that I'm done with the winter and all that is that I start skateboarding. - Shaun White

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you. - T. Harv Eker

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The night stared me in the face, amorphous, blind, infinite, without frontiers. Not a single start relieved the darkness behind the glass. - Stanisław Lem

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

Q: When is the perfect time?
A: Who can say, but probably somewhere between haste and delay - and it's usually most wise to start today. - Rasheed Ogunlaru

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment

Snow Storage