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A Man Named Fred

So many degrees and so few last names

A Man Named Fred thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?

A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
 
QuotaBills
Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Peace - that was the other name for home. - Kathleen Norris

Silence: What gets broken when you say its name - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

You'll never be as lazy as whoever names the fireplace. - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb

Here are some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future. - David Coleman

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. - Mark Twain

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy

They do certainly give very strange, and newfangled, names to diseases. - Plato

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Murdered by a traitor and a coward whose name is not worthy to appear here. - Jesse James

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

To understand a name you must be acquainted with the particular of which it is a name. - Bertrand Russell

To the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name knowledge. - Ambrose Bierce

To trust agents, hyperlinks are the twenty-first-century equivalent of the name-dropper. - Chris Brogan

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answers to, in the strongest conjuration. - Charles Dickens


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