Does this Dingaling ring a bell?
A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”
“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”
“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”
The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar
I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal
Flour: A word by any other name would smell as wheat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When they go besmearing the name of a great linebacker. - Archie Bunker
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. - Leonard Bernstein
I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name. - Zach Galifianakis
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
Better name for the general practitioner might be multispecialist. - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy
They do certainly give very strange, and newfangled, names to diseases. - Plato
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen
Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answers to, in the strongest conjuration. - Charles Dickens
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield