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A Man Named Fred

So many degrees and so few last names

A Man Named Fred thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?

A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
 
QuotaBills
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Formerly: A guy whose name was once Lee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I greet you in the name of peace, democracy, and freedom. - Nelson Mandela

Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. - Leonard Bernstein

The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers. - Marshall McLuhan

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Perfection is my motto. Percentage is my middle name. Walk alone and wait for no man. - Unknown

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. - Arnold Palmer

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I love inventing names, but I also collect unusual names, so that I can look through my notebook and choose one that suits a new character. - J K Rowling

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


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