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A Man Named Fred

So many degrees and so few last names

A Man Named Fred thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?

A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
 
QuotaBills
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Better name for the general practitioner might be multispecialist. - Martin H. Fischer

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

They do certainly give very strange, and newfangled, names to diseases. - Plato

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time. A long time. - Obi Wan Kenobi

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I love inventing names, but I also collect unusual names, so that I can look through my notebook and choose one that suits a new character. - J K Rowling

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


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