Amish Speed Wagon - NASCAR Debut

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz