Cabin Illusion

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Give a landlord an inch and he'll build an apartment house. - American Proverb

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules H Poincare

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright