Chiropractor Mailbox

Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

Life is pharmaceutical from head to cuticle. - David McCord

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Ignorance is not so damnable as humbug, but when it prescribes pills it may happen to do more harm. - George Eilot

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz