#1 humor site on the 'net

Eye Examination Chart

Optometrist guide to what causes bad eyes

Get up from your chair and stand as far back as you can to read this...
Eye Examination Chart thanks to Ken Ward

QuotaBills
TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes. - William Shakespeare

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

Mediocrity is excellence in the eyes of the mediocre. - Joseph Joubert

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears. - Indian Proverb

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes. - Pablo Picasso

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

What'd ya think, you were gonna pull the wolf over my eyes? - Archie Bunker

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. - Mark Twain

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality. - Nikos Kazantzakis

It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes. - Terri Minsky

There is so much in the world for us all if we only have the eyes to see it. - L M Montgomery

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
After the day's great sun. - Charles Hanson Towne

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Being born with a pair of beady eyes was the best thing that ever happened to me. - Lee van Cleef

She learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words. - Corey Ford

When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth. - Benjamin Franklin

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

When you hear people making hateful comments, stand up to them. Point out what a waste it is to hate, and you could open their eyes. - Taylor Swift

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. - Unknown


Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There