#1 humor site on the 'net

Going Nowhere Mall

Feel like a little traffic congestion?

Going Nowhere Mall thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

For Shoppers With LOTS of Time

QuotaBills
Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

The mistakes are all waiting to be made. - Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ. - Sandra Bernhard

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting. - Cormac McCarthy

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. - Carl Sagan

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Somewhere there is something incredible waiting to be known. - Carl Sagan

A person going nowhere can be sure of reaching his destination. - Unknown

Energy is liberated matter; matter is energy waiting to happen. - Bill Bryson

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come. - Lee Iacocca

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. - Fran Lebowitz

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting. - Joyce Meyer

The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. - Bono

You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So get on your way! - Dr. Seuss

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. - Jose L Borges

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

There are two kinds of people in one's life - people whom one keeps waiting, and the people for whom one waits. - Unknown

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they’re afraid! - Unknown

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. - Dale Turner

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I would not sit waiting for some value tomorrow, nor for something to happen. One could wait a lifetime ... I would make something happen. - Louis L'Amour

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama

You have to strive every minute to get rid of the life that you have planned in order to have the life that's waiting to be yours. Move, move, move. - Joseph Campbell

Giving yourself the privilege of destroying other positions while parking your own position in an unidentifiable location is a form of linguistic terrorism. - Ravi Zacharias

I knew that I was learning one of the most important lessons of my life: that instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, I should work toward a realization that every opportunity is perfect. - Suzan-Lori Parks


Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally