Help Me Before It's Too Late!

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst