#1 humor site on the 'net

Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked if I might help Him. I ended up by asking Him to do his work through me. - James Hudson Taylor

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward


Aussie Boat Ride

One Slice

Water Street

Hungry Tree

Dashing Name

Donut Holes

Dog Wash

Piano Dress

Hazards of Nose Picking

Mandela Perspective

I Want It All

Squid Squash

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Portrait Gallery

Boot Dog

Laundry Done

Rabbit Boost

Coke's Special Ingredients

Nanosecond Moments

Giraffic Park

Wine Karaoke

Other Door

Mistake Variations

Yoga Wine