Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. - St. Augustine

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller