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Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. - St. Augustine

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


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