Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst