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Hold These Golf Clubs

PARfect sacrifice for the serious golfer

Hold These Golf Clubs thanks to Rick Bohnenkamp

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Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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