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Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

There are lessons to be learned from a stupid man. - Horace

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you. - Veronica Roth

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

You'll never lighten the load until you feel the pressure in your own soul. - Ravi Zacharias

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. - Emma Watson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright