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Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

There are lessons to be learned from a stupid man. - Horace

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you. - Veronica Roth

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

You'll never lighten the load until you feel the pressure in your own soul. - Ravi Zacharias

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. - Emma Watson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

A juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on. - Ronnie Corbett

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy