Home Depot Delivery

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you think your boss is stupid remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter. - Albert Grant

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright