Home Depot Delivery

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

There are lessons to be learned from a stupid man. - Horace

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. - Benjamin Franklin

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. - Emma Watson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

A juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on. - Ronnie Corbett

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

If God has given you a message, go and give it to the people as God has given it to you. It is a stupid thing to try to be eloquent. - Dwight L. Moody

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson