#1 humor site on the 'net

Home Depot Delivery

I got a new part time job making deliveries

Home Depot Delivery thanks to Bryce Logan

This picture was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures. The car is still running (see the exhaust). The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around the load. Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.

The materials were loaded at Home Depot, where the customer was made to sign a waiver. While the plywood and 2X4's are fairly obvious, what you can't see is the back seat, which contains 10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each. The estimated load weight was 3,000 lbs. Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent, and the rear shocks were driven through the floorboard.

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you think your boss is stupid remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter. - Albert Grant

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Open For Business

This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet

Evaluating Something

Student Driver

Cat Milk