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Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Mama says, 'Stupid is as stupid does.' - Forrest Gump

It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light. - G K Chesterton

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

There are lessons to be learned from a stupid man. - Horace

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. - Benjamin Franklin

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com