#1 humor site on the 'net

Home Depot Delivery

I got a new part time job making deliveries

Home Depot Delivery thanks to Bryce Logan

This picture was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures. The car is still running (see the exhaust). The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around the load. Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.

The materials were loaded at Home Depot, where the customer was made to sign a waiver. While the plywood and 2X4's are fairly obvious, what you can't see is the back seat, which contains 10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each. The estimated load weight was 3,000 lbs. Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent, and the rear shocks were driven through the floorboard.

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light. - G K Chesterton

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. - Benjamin Franklin

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism

Going Into Space

Domino's Delivers Everywhere

Lord of the Wings

Crossed Wires

Monday Lisa

Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room