Home Depot Delivery

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Mama says, 'Stupid is as stupid does.' - Forrest Gump

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you. - Veronica Roth

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. - Benjamin Franklin

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

Take notes on the spot. A note is worth a cart-load of recollections. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

I don't weigh myself because most scales don't know how heavy all the grudges I'm holding onto are. - Unknown

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy