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Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light. - G K Chesterton

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

You'll never lighten the load until you feel the pressure in your own soul. - Ravi Zacharias

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

No man is so wise that he knows everything, nor is any man so stupid he knows nothing. - Amish Saying

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

I don't weigh myself because most scales don't know how heavy all the grudges I'm holding onto are. - Unknown

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com