International Sign of Marriage

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner