#1 humor site on the 'net

International Sign of Marriage

For those 'In-the-doghouse' days

International Sign of Marriage thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney


Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader

Edible Rubik's Cube

If Apple Made A Car