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The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. - Fred Allen

To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. - Wilson Mizner

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


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