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New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for 'Woman' element

New Element in the Periodic Table thanks to Kirk Lowry

Boils at room temperature and Freezes without any known reason

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS - ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.
 
QuotaBills
Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

I've been told I'm a role model to many women. - Donald Trump

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera


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