Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

I should be suspicious of what I want. - Rumi

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely. - Kin Hubbard

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash