#1 humor site on the 'net

Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs

Always looking at the wrong end of things?

Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

Customs dog sniffers always get their man / dog

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I should be suspicious of what I want. - Rumi

Suspicion is ever on the suffering side. - Pubilius Syrus

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it. - Jack Charlton

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


Sick Tombstone

No Drip

Gun Leash

Whole Human

Antler Field

Moon Football

Bike Rack

Straight From The Cow

Surf-In Lunch Snack

Lateral Thinking

Da Hood Shirt

Quiet Place To Study

No Beatle Haircuts

Lego Anatomy

His First Hot Rod

Hair Safety

Open Air Reader

Vacation At Last

Cutting Edge Delivery

Sunset Eclipse

Diet Swing

Lamp Escape

Strong Straws

Lucky Spectator