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Opinion Scale

Finding the perfect gift for her

Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”
Opinion Scale thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Self-delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scale. - Paul Sweeney

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Great is the height I must scale, but the prospect of glory gives me strength. - Propertius

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers


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