#1 humor site on the 'net

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Ever noticed the Pine tree crosses on Easter Sunday?

Pine trees start their new growth in the weeks before Easter - if you look at the tops of the Pine trees two weeks before, you'll see the yellow shoots. As the days get close to Easter Sunday, the tallest shoot will branch off and form a cross. By the time Easter Sunday comes around, you will see that most of the Pine trees will have small yellow crosses on all of the tallest shoots.
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter thanks to Joyce Welwood

QuotaBills
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. - Dave Chappelle

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Laughter crosses boundaries of class and age. Humour is universal. - Jeremy Lloyd

Walkie Talkie: What you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. - David Russell

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation. - Aristotle

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

It has been the cross which has revealed to good men that their goodness has not been good enough. - Richard J Neuhaus

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

Let us remind ourselves that if we are to be our Lord's disciples, we must take up his Cross and follow him. - Basil Hume

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

We do not attach any intrinsic value to the Cross; this would be sinful and idolatrous. Our veneration is referred to Him who died upon it. - James Gibbons

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally