#1 humor site on the 'net

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Ever noticed the Pine tree crosses on Easter Sunday?

Pine trees start their new growth in the weeks before Easter - if you look at the tops of the Pine trees two weeks before, you'll see the yellow shoots. As the days get close to Easter Sunday, the tallest shoot will branch off and form a cross. By the time Easter Sunday comes around, you will see that most of the Pine trees will have small yellow crosses on all of the tallest shoots.
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter thanks to Joyce Welwood

QuotaBills
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. - Dave Chappelle

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. - David Russell

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection. - Watchman Nee

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

When you carry the cross of Jesus, you will find that the cross will wind up carrying you. - Unknown

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

It has been the cross which has revealed to good men that their goodness has not been good enough. - Richard J Neuhaus

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

We do not attach any intrinsic value to the Cross; this would be sinful and idolatrous. Our veneration is referred to Him who died upon it. - James Gibbons

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today

How Pitbulls Really Fight

Grillbillies

Captain Literate

Fossilized Sid

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Husband Colors

Mac Supports Windows

Me First!

Latest Ukrainian Model

Chocolate Bath

Becoming A Cop

Handicap Swing

Lawn Aeration