#1 humor site on the 'net

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Ever noticed the Pine tree crosses on Easter Sunday?

Pine trees start their new growth in the weeks before Easter - if you look at the tops of the Pine trees two weeks before, you'll see the yellow shoots. As the days get close to Easter Sunday, the tallest shoot will branch off and form a cross. By the time Easter Sunday comes around, you will see that most of the Pine trees will have small yellow crosses on all of the tallest shoots.
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter thanks to Joyce Welwood

QuotaBills
Weeping Willow: Sad tree - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Laughter crosses boundaries of class and age. Humour is universal. - Jeremy Lloyd

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Walkie Talkie: What you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

When you carry the cross of Jesus, you will find that the cross will wind up carrying you. - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

It has been the cross which has revealed to good men that their goodness has not been good enough. - Richard J Neuhaus

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let us remind ourselves that if we are to be our Lord's disciples, we must take up his Cross and follow him. - Basil Hume

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love. - Jordan Belfort

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Ear Chip

Sleep With Us

Puppy Taco

Fresh Air Computing

Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak